(In no particular order)

1. Facebook contracts eBola (get it? e-Bola? Ha!) and dies.

2. (Continued from 1) People start having face time.

3. Spam emails dealing with something other than: a) viagra, b) cialis, c) a Nigerian bank account.

4. Paris Hilton contracts ebola (not e-Bola) and dies.

5. Dick Cheney starring in the next Batman installment as the Penguin.

6. Dick Cheney gets ebola from Paris Hilton. A video in green-and-black night vision is subsequently released and induces mass blindness.

7. The director of the movie Blindness is one of the people who goes blind, and, consequently, never directs a movie again.

8. A moratorium on movies that are remakes of other movies that came out 6 months prior.

9. World peace.

10. More crotchety old men.

Bonus: 11. Since remakes of older movies would be presumably okay under these New Year's guidelines, I would also add: A remake of "Deliverance" starring Ariel Sharon "squealin' like a pig."